It appears with all the good habits I've created to replace all the bad ones, I've somehow let a bad habit build up that I'm now struggling to break.
I get Tuesday-itis. Nope, not at work. Not at 3 o'clock. At night, after my workout, I guiltily slink into the bathroom and tap the scales to turn them on before stepping on. If I don't like what I see, I immediately feel a range of emotions from anger to disappointment to frustration. Yep, my victim mentality creeps back in for one night a week.
I know when I don't lose weight it's because I didn't follow anything. That part makes sense to me 6 days a week. Just doesn't come in to my thinking on a Tuesday night.
So tonight, I went on my walk, did part of an exercise dvd and inhaled 7 mini hot cross buns. I bought the mini pack because I thought it was portion controlled. Well obviously I wasn't being very conscious about my decisions. One bun is 106 calories - having one wouldn't have killed me, 7 of them? Really?! Now I know that no matter what, the scales will show this in the morning and once again I've self sabotaged.
I can't explain why I do it, I just do.
It's a habit I can't afford to sustain. I need to break it.
Yes I could understand one week out of the month going through the emotions but using this exuse every week is a joke.
I'm keeping my fingers crossed that one of you will read this, relate to it and tell me how I can break this cycle. It's unproductive and it's not a positive enforcement of my new life.
/-vent over-/
Wish I had the words that would break this cycle but I dont....All I can tell you is to remember your end goal.
ReplyDeleteIts not about the numbers on the scale...its about how you feel, and after reading about your social flutterings on the weekend I can tell you ARE feeling good and you ARE changing. You have overcome so much just to get to this point and you have inspired (and continue to do so!) at least one person so far on your journey.
Maybe instead of stepping on the scales, reach for the tape measure...that is often a more reliable indicator BUT I do completely understand the scales thing...When I was on the Cohens program it became a bit of an addiction for me as well.
Sending you hugs and positive vibes that you can just jump back on the wagon and keep going....I know you can :)
p.s. sorry for the essay...got on a bit of a roll :)
Nae
I really think that standing on the scales at any time of the day other than first thing in the morning, is the worst thing you can possibly do. Drink a litre of water and there is another kilo on the scales by the end of the day. You aren't going to get any satisfaction by doing this.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Nae completely - look at what you achieved in the last week. Write it out on a list - say it aloud. Post all the exercise you have done on your blog. You walked up a mountain and back down again. I know because I was with you and you inspired me to keep going when I just wanted to sit and have a rest.
Don't you dare become disheartened because some silly little hot cross buns aren't going to be the stumbling blocks that stops the rollercoaster Camilla from achieving her goals.
RockyMel
Thanks ladies. It's a tough week this week. Watch this space for next week.
ReplyDeleteHey Camilla,
ReplyDeleteFirstly, your comparison pics from the other day are amazing. Well done. Please make sure you take time to feel rpoud of yourself and enjoy that achievement.
I totally get your tuesday terror, I have wednesday morning terror, it is a really hard feeling to break. I do have a rule with myself that I will only ever (EVER) weigh first thing in the morning. Anything after this is a waste of my headspace and will give an entirely false indication.
A note on the hot cross buns, you only had seven because seven was available to you. I know if it were me I'd only have one available, thats how I'd control it.
Case.
Thanks Case. Yep, I know I only had 7 because there was 7 there. Normally I don't buy things like that full stop or I buy just one. I have my parents coming up to visit and I thought it'd be nice to have them at home to offer them. My actions have just reconfirmed that I need to learn the discipline. Till then it's just buying what's absolutely necessary. It doesn't just happen with sweets, even with veggies, if it's remotely close to TTOTM, I'll inhale it. Tomatoes, spinach, carrots - lol - it really doesn't matter. I'm getting better but there's one or two days a month where my willpower is sleeping.
ReplyDelete