Camilla's Journey Tracker

LilySlim Weight loss tickers

Friday, 31 August 2012

Zimmerframe for sale? Anyone??

After a less than perfect day yesterday I'm glad to report it's after 8 am and the hunger monster hasn't struck. Mind you, even if it did I wouldn't cave this time - I'm way too sore from PT to be moving anywhere that's not necessary for my survival. It's been a long time since I've been this sore and means one thing: I haven't been working hard enough till now.
So what does one do when you are suffering from a PT session and seriously considering putting a zimmer frame on lay-by? You go to another PT session of course.
I have a date with Chris (and for those of you who asked if he was spunky, Chris is actually a wonderful lady) this afternoon and she has asked that I bring my boxing gloves with me. So last night I ventured into the land of the unknown (also known as the junk room) to locate these almost extinct gloves. It only took a few moments before I spotted them and got them out. I tried them on and realised they'd never been used since I received them. Hmmm, well that's about to change.
Last night whilst sleeping I dreamt that I had a proper set of gloves - pink Everlast gloves. So I check out what's available at Sportscene and Amart Allsports and see that they're on special this week. More concerningly, what I thought were boxing mitts do in fact look like weight lifting gloves **giggles** - can you tell I don't have a clue??
Anyway, back to today. So PT session tonight, also, I don’t want to go through another Inhalator Nightmare so I've got fruit, muesli bars and lots of nutritional, low cal goodies should the need arise. I'm feeling very confident about today. The most confident I've felt in a long time.
Tonight I'm cooking dinner. It's been a while since I've cooked dinner at home so it's time to get back into the swing of things. I'm going to cook Tandoori Chicken with a side of curried cauliflower mash, bombay potatoes and spinach. I've done a rough calculation on calories and as long as I go light on potatoes I should be good. I'm very excited. If it all works out when I measure everything out tonight, I'll share it with you tomorrow. For lunch I'm having roast beef salad, which is devine and perfect for 'still slightly cool' weather (check out my recipes if you want to know how to make it).
Hope you all have a fantastic Friday - I know I will be
…and almost as if on cue my long black has just arrived….

Thursday, 30 August 2012

Introducing the Inhaler

Last night was my first PT session for this round.
Oh my goodness. I've never had a PT like Chris before but I'm wishing I had.
I burnt nearly 500 calories in under 40 minutes.
I was saturated in sweat, and my sweat has never been so rancid in my life.
I've done workouts before, I've sweated, I've been sore and exhausted but not to this extent.
This is what PT is all about. Or at least, this is what PT should be all about.
I waited to feel the pain last night but nothing appeared. A slight feeling of disappointment settled in.
I was expecting to be in agony. I went to bed just thinking that maybe my body wasn't cut out for exercise after all.
At least not to this extent.
So after having my little tantrum and waiting up till 11pm to "feel the burn" I finally fell into bed exhausted and disappointed.
Waking up this morning was a different experience.
Still exhausted due to my lack of thinking last night but definitely feeling a little bit sore. As I tried to bounce out of bed (as I normally do because it makes me believe the day is going to be a good one - seriously, it works!) I realised that I might be a little more tender than I first thought. A smile crept across my face - finally I'm sore after PT.
I got ready and headed off to work, still feeling sore but super excited about the prospect of my fitness increasing, fat decreasing to unveil the body I know is hiding somewhere underneath.
It's 8 am and it's hit me like a brick! Hunger has appeared out of nowhere. I don't recall feeling hunger like this before. It was so loud, I'm not really sure whether it was hunger or cravings or anything else. It's like my brain was only partially functioning and without thinking I started inhaling.
Inhaling food.
Ooohh breakfast brunch bar, fill me up! Hmmm, still room, another one inhaled, a couple of premium crackers and a couple of vita weets, a coffee, a green tea and a peppermint tea. It's now just past 11am and I've stopped eating. I feel disgusted and so disappointed in myself. I didn't prepare, nor did I plan for this.
I could have avoided this by being more prepared, by having nutritional, low calorie snacks around.
Doing some quick rough calculations, I inhaled approximately 800 calories. For those of you who haven't been reading my blog since the beginning won't have read the post where I inhaled several thousand calories. My binges are definitely reducing, but obviously not under control.
I am serious about this round. I am committing to my weightloss. This is a slip up. Yes, I will feel bad for today because I can't get to the gym as I'm working a double shift, but I'll be making up for it tomorrow.
Now I have some serious decisions to make. Do I attempt to only eat half meals for the rest of the day? I know I'm definitely not skipping meals, it doesn't work like that. I've calculated the rest of my day and I'll be coming in at 656 calories over my quota. I can reduce that as I have eggs as my protein to go with my soup - they're worth 140 calories. I can also cut out my yoghurt for afternoon tea which is 110 calories - that's 250 calories gone…. The soup I'm having for lunch and dinner is only roughly 175 cals per serve so I don't want to cut everything out and end up twice as bad.
There's probably a lot of my supporters out there 'tsk tsk tsk' -ing and mumbling things but I'm human. I binged. I'm not proud of it but I own it. If I cut out my protein and afternoon snack, then there's a good chance I'll binge again tonight and there's only vending machines there.
I don't really have much else to say….I'm out of words…. Thanks for reading….

Wednesday, 29 August 2012

Back In The Saddle

First weigh in for round 3 and I've had a 700g loss since Sunday - I've got to be happy with that. This is my round. I know what I want and I'm going to get it. This isn't a long post, just a quick "pop in, pop out" to let you know that I did weigh in and I'm happy with my loss. I look forward to many more losses over the following 12 weeks.
So next week is Perth finale again. These 12 weeks seem to go awfully fast. Once again I've got a dress that I'm not 100% on. I'm thinking it might be worth a trip to the shops to see what else is out there as opposed to giving up and going to Perth and dressing like a frump.
I had a purple dress with dull gold heels and a bag but I realised a few days ago that the trim on the dress is silver. I'm in love with my shoes so ideally I'd love something to go with that.

Thank goodness it's payday...

Tuesday, 28 August 2012

The Gauntlet Has Been Thrown - Day 2 - Round 3

The gauntlet has been thrown - let the challenge begin.

This morning I wake unexpectedly refreshed. Monday is generally a difficult day on its own without having to add two jobs to the mix to tire and test you. So after a long day yesterday I did a quick analysis on MFP to see how I had gone for the day.

**insert disappointing music here - whatever takes your fancy**

Uh-oh. Day 1, not quite there. No exercise as I worked 12 hours (I haven't been exercising on Mondays and Thursdays due to this but that's a challenge I'm taking on this round) however being that my second job is at Bunnings, it wasn't like I was sitting down on my bum hoping the fat cells would kamikaze off my body.

Total consumption for day one - 1419 calories. That's 219 calories above our allowance of 1200 per day. Hmm so the result is not as good as it could have been but also not as bad as it could have been. I resolve that today I will be within my 1200 calories.

Yesterday was carefully planned so why did I exceed my limit? Three-thirty-itis. Yep, we've heard about it - cup-a-soup invented it - and I caught it. Munchies like there was no tomorrow. As I only have relatively healthy snacks at work in my drawer (to eliminate having to go to a vending machine to buy an extra 500g to strap to my body) the damage was manageable.
This morning I had my "before" pics taken in my underwear, and although I haven't gained a heap, my physique does need to get back in to working out and toning. I'm looking a lot more flabby than I'd like for my weight. All good though, just another thing to focus on.
Today is also the first training session with my new PT, Chris. We've got a session at 5pm so I thought I'd better post this now as I'm not sure if I'll even be in a state to move after that. I'm quite excited and really looking forward to getting back in to the groove that I thoroughly enjoyed in round 1.
I'm back in the forums pestering people and I'll be more vocal in the fb groups too. I'm also in the process of coming up with my own motivational quotes that I'll live this round by so I've got something clever to tweet about on a more regular basis, but I guess that will come with time.
Now, there is a slight difference in this round compared to my others. I now have a lot more support as well as the faith and knowledge that the program works, I just need to let it. I am accountable for my own actions and in turn my own successes and failures.
This round already has some 'inbuilt' challenges that I've already agreed to. I have Warrior Dash coming up, a 10km Run challenge as part of the CQ Spring Classics. I am also determined to purchase a pushbike before Christmas and I'm going to become one of those annoying people that paint themselves in lycra and cycle on the outer edge of your road (which no doubt you'll feel ripped off because in your big four wheel drive, you need the entire road) - ha ha ha - only kidding - about the road joke that is, not the bike. I've never actually bought my own bike. The last bike I owned was one my parents bought me that subsequently ended up getting sold when I moved to Emerald. I have no idea whether I actually require a road bike or a mountain bike. All I know is that I want to be able to ride to the shop to get stuff rather than drive. I would love for the local council to create a bike path all the way from Gracemere to Rockhampton to allow me to ride to and from work but I think that's a bit far fetched and dreamy of me.
For those of you who are eagerly scrolling, hoping to see my 'before' pic- it's not here. After looking at it, I'm not entirely sure I'm comfortable putting it out there quite yet. Give me a week or two and I'll share it with you.
Thank you to all of you who visit my blog on a regular basis - I think this round is the round we crack 15,000 views. I commit to you to include more recipes again and to keep more active on here to give you more to read.
This is "ShinyNewCamilla" signing out for the day (to finish my long black that's eagerly waiting for me).

Wednesday, 15 August 2012

Awkward Much?

This morning the unthinkable happened. I swore it never would. I promised. I committed. I failed.
The scales told a story I never wanted to see.
At the beginning of this round I was down to 94.8kg.
That's not just a little gain. That's 5.3kg.

There are a lot of contributing factors to my gain. I came back from living the 'high life' in Hawaii at 97.8kg and I committed again to all of you and all of my friends that I would "shift it". Instead, I haven't been feeling well and simply haven't really cared about some of my choices. In general, my eating has been good, my exercise non-existant and I've re-discovered how much fun it is to socialise over a few drinks.

Why did I name this blog entry "Awkward Much?"?? I commited to you as my supporters and readers that I could do this, that I would do this and I haven't.

This quote is very apt for these times.

This morning when the scales told their nightmarish story, I became emotional, very emotional. See I have always been a scale addict. I went through a period last year where I would weigh myself several times a day and plot it on a graph so I could see my daily weight movements etc, then when I joined 12WBT at the beginning of the year, I held back and only weighed myself twice a day (and yes, many of you said it would stuff around with my head and it has), then I cut down to once a week for the three weeks leading up to Hawaii. Since Hawaii, I've only stepped on them three times, and only one of those times has been on an official weigh in day.
My journey is not complete. I am happy with me, but I am not yet the best version of me I could possibly be.
My goal is 75kg or to be a size 12. I have a lot of people in my life who doubt that I can achieve either of these numbers, and I have a choice few who know I will.

So what's changed? Why is it going to be different this time?
Well, I think I used too many excuses last round. I thought I had it in the bag and knew what I was doing.
Surprise! I don't!!
I've enlisted the assistance of a PT for 2 x 30min sessions per week to help keep me committed to my workouts. I've also signed up for the CQ Spring Classics 10km fun run in September. I have also started, effective today, eating clean again. No more chocolate bullets (and justifying them to myself), the remainder of the block of cheese in the house is now in the bin, and last but not least, I tipped my 'Skinny Girl Cosmo' down the drain. I believe alcohol has been my main downfall and although I will still have a few drinks throughout the round on social occasions, I will not be 'finishing the day with a drink'. Time for some discipline and hard work.
My new gym is 24 hours so I can't really use lack of time as an excuse anymore, so it's time to get in there and do it. Food has always been my choice and I've made some bad ones, back to clean and green. Last but not least I need more sleep. Since coming back I've felt fatigued just about
every day. That has to stop. That's having a negative impact on my choices as well as my fat burn.
Today I admit to you that I am now at 100.1kg again.
I'm in triple figures. Finale is in 3 weeks. I will be down to 94.8kg by then (at least). I have also signed up for my next round and I've decided this is my "crunch round". This is the round where I slam the rest of this weight and start hitting some goals.

Wednesday, 1 August 2012

Losing Weight and Gaining Life

I’ve been neglecting you all a bit haven’t I? I’m looking at the dates of my posts and I can see the time lapse between them slowly increasing.
Funnily enough, when you lose weight, you gain life. To me, it’s a pretty fair swap. I’ve never enjoyed living life as much as I do right now. Living life has taken over, I’m no longer the facebook addict glued to the screen ready to ‘like’ and comment on any irrelevant post that pops up only because I have nothing better to do. These days you’re more likely to find me
outside pounding the pavement as I go on my runs or exploring a national park
or meeting new people.
This round has been very haphazard and I take full responsibility. On the scales, there’s not much difference, but in my appearance and mindset, it’s like I’ve moved worlds. I’m still at peace with myself and I’m now finding that I’m smiling more and laughing more which in turn makes people talk to me and I meet new people. It’s a great little chain of events that becomes more addictive than the 3 o’clock chocolate.
Who would have thought that 12 months ago I was morbidly obese, hiding at home and daring only to go outside when the least amount of people would see me.
If there are any of you out there who follow this blog who AREN’T on the program but keep wishing that they could lose a few kgs or even a lot of kgs, don’t hesitate, please, take it from me. Take the first step now.
If I had started my journey 6 months earlier, I would be at my goal weight by now. I would be normal. I’d be able to post pics on here where I’m dressed like any other person who is in a healthy weight range.
The weight was like an illness. It held me back and made me feel yuck. I tried comfort food and high sugar foods and nothing has made me feel as good as being healthy.
So, on that note, I’ve got heaps to do and unfortunately I haven’t worked out how to increase the hours in my day so I have to shoot. I promise I’ll be more attentive and I’ll post again real soon.
I want to put some recipes together using protein powders so if anyone has suggestions – throw them my way. We need some more winter warming recipes.