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Tuesday, 11 September 2012

3 Months = 12 Weeks = 84 Days

Finale was here already.
3 months had passed. 12 weeks. 84 days.
Well, thereabouts anyway, since last finale. The finale where I'd gotten up on stage in my glory to accept my award for blogger of the round. This finale was very different. With no Top 20 letter in my possession, this trip came with less anxiety and more anticipation of actually enjoying what was ahead. I looked forward to not stressing and just taking things as they came. It had been my resolution since last time.
This round wasn't a weightloss round for me. In fact I ended the round a few kilograms heavier than I started. This was my mindset round. My head caught up to my body, I befriended myself and I learnt to care and nurture my soul, my body and my mind. I learnt that number one in my life is me. This wasn't an easy lesson to learn, but it was quiet necessary. I learnt to read my own body signals, to listen to my body and soul when it needed care but most of all for my mind to allow my eyes to see the changes in my body.

With no weightloss to report, I didn't feel like I 'deserved' this trip. I'd had a few judgmental remarks thrown in my direction during the round from those who (obviously) didn't know any better or what part of my journey I was taking. I was hesitant even after I'd spent a small fortune on the weekend. A sense of worthlessness washed over me in the days leading up to my flight due to an array of discussions and comments that I was and wasn't partaking in. I'd had enough. I wasn't going. The decision was made.
Then that one strong voice, the pillar of unquestionable support, provided the strength I needed to continue on this journey. I was reminded that "Life is like a rollercoaster. It has its ups and downs. It's your choice to scream or enjoy the ride." So now I was going. Again.
I boarded my flight without the feeling of claustrophobia this time. The walls weren't swallowing me up. Perhaps facing my fear in Hawaii had made a difference. Short flights from Rocky to Brisbane never worried me, but the longer flights used to send elephants in to do Zumba in my belly. This time, they were barely fairies doing ballet.
Once I arrived in Perth, I started walking towards the JetStar check in. That's where the Shrinkers were meeting. With each step, I felt the excitement building and emotions were on a high. As they came into view a huge sense of relief and gratitude and happiness engulfed me. These girls have been the supporting blocks I've needed through this journey. Without them, I wouldn't be where I am. Unknowingly, to an extent, they've probably saved my life.
So the weekend begins, stay tuned to hear about the workout and ofcourse, the big event itself...

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