Support or Saboteur?

Sometimes the line between the two is very thin and very faint. In fact most of the time I don’t notice it when it happens and only in times of reflection does the penny drop.

I’ve spouted on here time and time again that you are my support base, and to date, there’s no negative comments or anything to bring me down. For this I thank you. When I need to vent or get something off my chest, this is where I normally come.

I’ve decided that this year is all about me. Hence this blog, my journey through weightloss and I’m making it public to hold me accountable. After many wise comments from my 30+ Crew, I’ve realised that losing this weight isn’t going to be the answer I’m looking for. This weight isn’t me. Yes, it’s a part of me, but it’s not all who I am. I used weight as my excuse in life.

It’s because I’m fat that I’m single. I’ve told myself that statement so many times I believed it. Not anymore. I’m single because I’m fussy and I send out the wrong vibes that attract people to me that I’m not attracted to. I’m not going to change my standards, I’m still going to be fussy but I am going to change my outlook and in turn that will be reflected in my vibe. It’s taken me a long time but finally I am ready to confess.

 

I am nice. I am kind. I treat others like I want to be treated and I deserve to be treated the way I treat others. I deserve to be happy. I know that there’s probably some comments being muttered under breaths as some read this. I don’t care. This is my journey. Not yours. You can’t take credit for what I’m doing. I am doing this for me. I decided to sign up and I’ve committed to the program. If you don’t like it – bite me!

 For those of you who have been “kind” and told me that “it’s okay to eat …. Because you’ve been so good” and “surely that little bit won’t hurt” – NEWSFLASH – you’re not being supportive. Yes it sounds all lovey-dovey and nice but I’m losing weight. I am watching what I eat. If I politely refuse what you’re offering, it is by no means a personal reflection on you. I’m sure it tastes wonderful but at this point in time I’d rather not have it.

Then there’s the negative compliments. I’m sure you all know the ones. They’re sweet to start with but they still sting a little. For example

“That’s a nice top”

“Thank you, I bought it as a reward for losing weight”

“Well done, but don’t you think you should be rewarding yourself after you’ve reached goal?”

 Hmmm obviously you don’t know that I’ve already lost over 15kg but sure, it’s okay for you to reward yourself daily for your ‘compliments’.

I’ve sat and thought about this blog post since the beginning. I knew there’d be a day I’d post it. I just didn’t know when or how deep I would go. I’m not naming names. This blog isn’t to humiliate people or to burn bridges.

This is me venting because I need to. In the past, a bottle of wine and a block of cheese would have done the same thing. Only thing is, writing a blog doesn’t make me feel guilty. It doesn’t require that I do extra exercise to work off my guilt.

Just remember that what goes around, comes around. If you wouldn’t want to hear something yourself, don’t say it to someone else – you don’t know what sort of a day they’ve had or how they’ll react.