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Friday, 10 February 2012

Support or Saboteur?

Sometimes the line between the two is very thin and very faint. In fact most of the time I don’t notice it when it happens and only in times of reflection does the penny drop.

I’ve spouted on here time and time again that you are my support base, and to date, there’s no negative comments or anything to bring me down. For this I thank you. When I need to vent or get something off my chest, this is where I normally come.

I’ve decided that this year is all about me. Hence this blog, my journey through weightloss and I’m making it public to hold me accountable. After many wise comments from my 30+ Crew, I’ve realised that losing this weight isn’t going to be the answer I’m looking for. This weight isn’t me. Yes, it’s a part of me, but it’s not all who I am. I used weight as my excuse in life.

It’s because I’m fat that I’m single. I’ve told myself that statement so many times I believed it. Not anymore. I’m single because I’m fussy and I send out the wrong vibes that attract people to me that I’m not attracted to. I’m not going to change my standards, I’m still going to be fussy but I am going to change my outlook and in turn that will be reflected in my vibe. It’s taken me a long time but finally I am ready to confess.
I am nice. I am kind. I treat others like I want to be treated and I deserve to be treated the way I treat others. I deserve to be happy. I know that there’s probably some comments being muttered under breaths as some read this. I don’t care. This is my journey. Not yours. You can’t take credit for what I’m doing. I am doing this for me. I decided to sign up and I’ve committed to the program. If you don’t like it – bite me!

 For those of you who have been “kind” and told me that “it’s okay to eat …. Because you’ve been so good” and “surely that little bit won’t hurt” – NEWSFLASH – you’re not being supportive. Yes it sounds all lovey-dovey and nice but I’m losing weight. I am watching what I eat. If I politely refuse what you’re offering, it is by no means a personal reflection on you. I’m sure it tastes wonderful but at this point in time I’d rather not have it.

Then there’s the negative compliments. I’m sure you all know the ones. They’re sweet to start with but they still sting a little. For example

“That’s a nice top”

“Thank you, I bought it as a reward for losing weight”

“Well done, but don’t you think you should be rewarding yourself after you’ve reached goal?”

 Hmmm obviously you don’t know that I’ve already lost over 15kg but sure, it’s okay for you to reward yourself daily for your ‘compliments’.

I’ve sat and thought about this blog post since the beginning. I knew there’d be a day I’d post it. I just didn’t know when or how deep I would go. I’m not naming names. This blog isn’t to humiliate people or to burn bridges.

This is me venting because I need to. In the past, a bottle of wine and a block of cheese would have done the same thing. Only thing is, writing a blog doesn’t make me feel guilty. It doesn’t require that I do extra exercise to work off my guilt.

Just remember that what goes around, comes around. If you wouldn’t want to hear something yourself, don’t say it to someone else – you don’t know what sort of a day they’ve had or how they’ll react.


  1. QUOTE: "I am nice. I am kind. I treat others like I want to be treated and I deserve to be treated the way I treat others. I deserve to be happy."

    Yes, you are Camilla!! And you do deserve to be happy. Again, thank you for sharing your journey with us. It's good to see you going so well!

  2. Well said Camilla. It is hard enough to block out the self destructive talk and habits in our own minds let alone have to listen to others who are negative. Why shouldn't you shout to the world that you have lost fifteen kgs? This is an achievement and you are proud of it. Don't let this person's comment make you feel negative about your reward.
    Why should you lower your standards so you have a partner? Good on for you for having a benchline that they need to meet. And you are right - your vibe will be so different - positive with an "I can do anything" attitude. You are no doubt already sending this out.
    Go for it Camilla - be proud of what you have already achieved and what you are going to achieve. In twelve weeks time, those people will either be encouraged by you, or still sitting on the couch watching the tv.

  3. Thank you all for your kind words. It's like getting a little injection of endorphins reading these comments. It puts me on a natural high for the rest of the day. I've committed that negative comments, although they hurt, they will not influence or affect my life. Power to those of us who are willing to break through the ordinary to become extraordinary!! xo

  4. Wow, Camilla!! I am SOOO impressed by this post!!! Just look at how far you have come in just a few short days!! I am humbled by your honesty and your ability to make yourself vulnerable (and therefore a LOT stronger!) by putting this out in the universe! I am extremely proud of how much of a shift has occurred in your thinking in such a short time!

    You are 100%, absolutely correct! You ARE beautiful and kind and nice and loving and caring and deserving of all the good things life has to offer!

    And I for one cannot WAIT to share more of your transformation with you!! Particularly those mind shifts!

    Well done girl!!!!


  5. We're all on our own journey, and it isn't for anybody else to judge us for it. I was an emotional eater for 20 years. People dared to tell me when I started to open up about it that it wasn't true, as I wasn't obese or drastically overweight. And now that I'm doing 12wbt, they again have the nerve to tell me that my goal weight is 'too skinny'. Who are they to judge me? I want to be fit, healthy and happy, for myself and nobody else. I deserve that. Don't we all? Wishing you much success on the journey ahead. xx

  6. Your post is fabulous! I am hearing everything that you're saying, I I know totally that people will push you to eat something you don't want to eat. In my personal experience (and this is just what I have found) the most effective answer is "Thanks, but I'm not hungry" - I don't mention diet or anything, and if they say "are you on a diet?" I just say, "I'm just not hungry and I don't feel like something sweet right now" (usually it's sweet). It's so simple and yet it is effective (surprisingly). Anyway babe, I love you being open and honest. I am always struggling with this on FB, I'm naturally an open person and I love to just say what I want to say and I'm often deleting my posts because of other people reading and judging. Maybe I should create a blog like this...

  7. Thanks ladies - I'm certainly enjoying the journey with its ups and downs. I'm a little surprised about how the journey is affecting the rest of my life but it's all positive. Thanks for taking the road less travelled with me