Are you a victim or a survivor?

Since I first commenced this journey and shared it through my blog I have been contacted by many friends and many others who I barely know. I’ve been praised for my bravery, my courage and my honesty. I’ve been applauded that I’m strong enough to make the change.

We all have the same choice.

Each and every one of us has the choice to choose how we live.

Do you live as a victim?

Is everything someone else’s fault? Do you feel you don’t have control all the time? Do you have an excuse for everything? This is harsh, but that’s your choice. No matter what happens to you, how you react is your choice. You can choose the victim mentality or you can choose the survivor mentality.

I am a survivor.

I don’t have regrets in life. I have lessons learned. I don’t blame others for my own shortcomings, I try my hardest not to focus on them either. I am in control of my life. I choose how to react to situations that life throws at me. Yes, I can’t change the weather, but I have a choice, I can whinge and moan about it, or I can do something about it, I can choose to see it as an opportunity to continue on my blog. To do the chores or to watch a movie. When a hurdle crops up in life I don’t run from it, I work out how to overcome it.

It’s rarely easy, but the end result is always worth it. I am living a life that I have made based on my past experiences and my reactions to them.

When you are happy with your life, this does not mean you’re not striving for greater goals, because I believe we always should be one way or another.

I also believe in paying it forward. When someone does a good turn unto you – what is your first reaction? You’re happy, smiling, overjoyed and excited. Most of us share that excitement but that’s as far as we go.

What would happen, if each of us decided to do one good deed per day for someone else without expecting anything in return, no acknowledgment, nothing. The world would certainly be a better place.

I dare you to try it.

Tomorrow, be a survivor, greet the day with a smile and don’t let things affect you that you cannot change. Pay it forward, do a good deed for someone else without expecting anything in return. The internal warmth you’ll feel afterwards will be your reward for being a survivor who pays it forward.

There are going to be hurdles that come up in your life that are hard. There are hurdles in my life that I’m still not ready to tackle, but I’m getting closer to tackling them. My biggest hurdle is my weight. It is holding me back physically, mentally, financially and socially. It affects me more than I ever should let it.

I am still adapting my way of thinking about my weight to a survivor frame of mind. This is what my journey is about. I hope that upon successfully completing this life challenge that my journey will inspire others to think about what they can do and to empower them to reach for their goals.

This is only the beginning of what I feel will be my lifelong journey, the weight is only the first chapter.

And the Clutz Award Goes to …….

Today was my first SSS – Super Saturday Session – where I pledge to burn at least 1000 calories. Well, I had a blowout (again – I know) last night with dinner rolls, so I pledged to burn at least 1500.

 I woke up nice and early and got ready for my first challenge of the day – finding Bluff Point Walking Track. I committed last night on facebook to conquer this walk with my friend Andrew this morning at 9.30am. I was running late – as usual and the weather wasn’t looking good in Rockhampton, I called ahead to confirm the weather would still be permitting us to hike up. Sunshine I get told – I look out the window with doubt but keep driving. I turn up approximately ten minutes late and Andrew is already there. Andrew is a veteran of this walk and does it twice daily so it’ll be a challenge to just keep up I think but I’m up to the challenge.

 I’ve got my HRM strapped on, my hat on, sunscreen on, water bottle and phone, yep all ready to go. At first I think we’re going pretty slow and I wonder if this walk will be the slightest bit challenging. This thought only has a chance to hang around for a minute or two before my heart rate starts increasing along with the incline. Perhaps we shouldn’t have left it so late. I’m already dripping with sweat and my heart rate is up around 140 bpm and I’m only a few mins in. I’m not going to check the calories – I’m determined not to.

 Andrew is politely keeping pace with me although I’m sure if he was on his own he’d be pushing ahead. We stop at each of the lookouts and the views are amazing – it’s like nature’s own motivator. I’ve included the pics to see what you think.

After what feels like a lifetime we’re at the summit. I proudly pose for my photo at the top and then we start the descent. Going down is humid as hell but it doesn’t feel as hard as the steps going up, I even manage to burst into a jog on the way down. We finish at the tables where I sit down and finally look at the numbers for the walk. My max heartbeat was 168!!!! That can’t be good – sounds way too high for me. After a couple of minutes catching my breath, Andrew announces that we can now go again and do it in reverse.

Is he kidding me?! Although I now feel like I haven’t done anything, surely he’s joking?

Nope…

We slowly start walking again, this time my heartbeat jumps straight back up again as we walk up the gradient. It’s still very humid and my water is now warm. There is no breeze as the heat reflects off the rock walls. About halfway up I think I’ve had enough, I’m hot and bothered and quite frankly I just want to take a running leap and hope I hit water. I tell Andrew I’ve had enough, he pauses with me and I have a drink of water. We push on. It feels like I’m dragging behind and the walk is taking forever. With each step up I’m pushing my weight down through my legs to propel me upwards and forwards.

This time round when we reach the top there’s a cool wind and the rain is spitting – finally Mother Nature is with me and on my side! The descent doesn’t feel anywhere near as bad. Now I’ve purposely left out the calories but I’m sure you’re all dying to know. The track was 2.1km and I completed it twice, both times in approx 40 mins (although the second time felt longer) and I burnt a whopping 767 calories!!

 

Feeling rather excited and stoked I headed home (a towel over the seat as I was drenched from sweat) to get changed and go pick up some nice underwear for my ‘pre’ shots. It’s about to get real funny people – you know those moments where it makes you laugh but you know you should feel bad.

I had a shower, got changed, picked up my bag and headed for the door…

… that’s when it all becomes a blur…

I trip (I think) and fumble and fall flat on the ground. My ankle is in pain and I’m in shock. I sit for a moment trying to work out what happened. My ankles feel like they’ll never forgive me. I notice I’ve scraped the tops of my hands and my feet as well.  So what do I do? I call dad – cause dads help their daughters when they’re in trouble. This is funny because my dad lives 600 km away – even when he wanted to, there was nothing he could do. I slowly got up and off I hobbled.

Now this all happened about 5 hours ago, my ankle is still sore, not swollen but definitely feels damaged. I’ve also realised that I scraped my knees, elbows and somehow the back of my arm has a lump. Oh and I managed to get sunburnt. Surely all these things could only happen to a clutz.

So I therefore declare that the award be mine!!

The Penny Drops

It’s Australia Day. Australia Day to me is dressing up in my ‘Aussie’ Singlet, ‘Aussie’ Boardshorts, ‘Aussie’ Thongs and sit around drinking beer with my ‘Aussie’ Floppy Hat.

This year it’s different.

After working two late nights, I slept in. I didn’t get up till 9am. Normally I’d be angry at wasting 3-4 valuable hours of my day. Today I’m not angry at myself. In fact I’m pleased that I feel rested. Yesterday I weighed in and experienced a 2.6kg loss. I am stoked. I ate clean but I only incorporated 2000 calories worth of exercise for the week. Nowhere near the recommended 3500 calories. That’s when the penny dropped. I control my weight loss. I can change the outcome dependant on what I eat and what I expel through exercise. Another critical ingredient is water. Your body requires 30mL of water per kilo of body weight. Once I got this amount in my head and consciously drank it, I found that I’m no longer hungry. I no longer have sweet cravings. I’m quite content eating healthy, and if you read my earlier blog entry, my cravings are now for stir frys. I’m pretty happy with that swap.

So what do I have planned for today? As it’s a day off, I’ve decided to do a super workout and expel at least 1000 calories today. I’m also going to ‘declutter’ my kitchen/lounge room to make room for my mini tramp and wii fit. I’m also catching up on TBL. So far the washing is all just about done and I’m watching TBL. Don’t think I’m sitting on my bum though cause I made room for the mini tramp first and I’m getting on it in 10 minute lots to burn off some calories. I know for 10 mins I can burn between 50-85 calories so with my HRM on I’ll keep pushing through.

Feeling in control of my future, I’m quietly confident to see my weight reduce in size. Now I need to set my goals. The official 12 weeks starts on the 13^th February and I believe in those twelve weeks I can commit to losing 20 kilos. That’s 1.6 kilos per week. I believe in the lead up to the official commencement I can lose another 3 kilos. That would put me at 86.6 kilos at the end of my first round. That should see a drop in approx 3-4 dress sizes as they say it’s roughly 7 kilos to a size. It sounds big but the small steps are achievable, they are realistic and I am committed. I will also start to post my regular workouts and calories expelled so that I am accountable and my losses are transparent.

 

Thanks again and watch this space because I am shrinking!!

Tears for TBL

So, like many others, last night I sat up and watched the Biggest Loser (TBL). For some reason, being overweight, draws me to this show. In a sense I think it gives me hope. This season, more than previous seasons, I can relate to the contestants. Their feelings and their stories touch a chord. It's not often my eyes well up with tears but last night was enough to do it. Like them, I am doing this journey alone, no husband, no partner and no boyfriend. I can't wait to see them embarking on their journeys and hopefully pick up some of the mindset lessons they go through. One major theme stood out - you must learn to love yourself before you can love others. I believe this is so true. This is going to be one my challenges this year. No more excuses and no more hatred. Something must already be clicking in my head as I can feel my clothes no longer tight, I have room to breathe. It makes me smile every time I take a step.
Today we're ordering PPE for work. I'll have them within the month. Question is, do I go for my current size or do I have enough faith and confidence to order 1 size down. I have to wear them on the 28th Feb. I will let you know what I decide.
Last night I lost my wok-virginity. I'd heard about stir frys and yes, I'd attempted them before in saucepans or fry pans but never in a wok. Stopping in at the grocery store I was greeted with displays of woks and bamboo cooking equipment. "This must be a sign," I thought to myself. So I picked up a wok and decided on stir fry for dinner. I bought the pre-cut meat and even the pre-cut vege. I found a low cal stir fry sauce and headed home. When I shared my excitement online I quickly learnt the importance of a good stir fry oil. I narrowed it down to either peanut or sesame oil, so back down to the grocery store I went to pick up both.
I seasoned the wok using my peanut oil and I used the sesame oil to heat it up for the first time. I tossed in the meat and stirred around, followed by the veggies and also some fresh ginger. The aromatic smell was captivating, I was almost drooling. I quickly found the negative to stir frys - they taste so damn good!! I ate the whole lot! Thank goodness it was only about 700 calories so it could have been a lot worse. From now on I'll only fry up what I need and put lunch aside before I eat. If anyone has any awesome combos, please let me know! I don't eat crustaceans but I'm happy to try fish, beef, pork, lamb, chicken and turkey (not sure what else there is)!!

Ben Does Life

So it's mid afternoon and I'm lacking a bit of motivation. I idly explore google when I come across Ben's blog. Ben is from America and has undergone an amazing journey of weightloss and fitness. Overcoming hurdles and barriers I'd never even thought of. The story is moving in many ways but it also touches me, it kicks me right up the bum. It's mid afternoon. I have the whole afternoon and I'm inside at my computer. Habits like these is what grew my body to have its own post code. Habits like these, just like my excuses, need to be broken. I've charged up the iPod and I've downloaded a new set of podcasts for the c25k - I'm out to hit the road!

If any of you are keen on reading Ben's journey like I did - bendoeslife.com
If you're also keen on checking out what on earth c25k is - www.c25k.com

I look forward to hearing what you thought of either/both these sites.

Naming, shaming and breaking down my excuses.

I’m too fat to….

….. well if I’m not exercising and keeping an eye on what passes my lips, that’s not going to change.

I don’t have anyone to do it with….

…… I don’t need someone to hold my hand, I’m there to exercise, with time I’ll get to know others there.

I’m not fit enough to…..

…… duh, why do I think I’m working out?

I don’t know anyone to…….

…… as above – why do I need someone? I’ll meet new people.

I’m too chunky to……..

….. once again, that’s not going to change if I don’t.

It’s too hot/cold to…..

…… grab a jumper or do swimming as your exercise.

It’s too late to……

…… I should have made time earlier but I didn’t so I will do something inside like jump on the mini tramp.

I don’t have time to….

…… I will make time. I will get up earlier. I will beat my excuses.

Why bother….

…… because if I don’t, how can I expect things to change?

This was a hard lesson to go through, I don’t think I’m through it yet. I’ve been thinking about it all week and it’s helping me keep motivated. I can do this and I will do this and my first step is to smash all these barriers I’ve put up. I need to make myself happy so that I can make others happy.

If I keep going the way I’m going then I’m still going to be in the place I am now.

Someone once told me that stupidy is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. Well not this little black ducky! I took a sneak peek on the scales this morning and if the number I saw today sticks around then I’ll be stoked. 110.1kg – that would be a loss of 2.1kg. After a disappointing shift yesterday and not burning as much as I’d hoped, I’m planning on smashing it today. I had 89km to run as part of my challenge. I have run 19.5 km so far so roughly 70km to go. Will really need to push to get this through in January – thank goodness for public holidays!! Speak soon xo

Blog Dramas

Just a quick apology to my followers, I've had heaps to post but my 'new and improved' blog format wouldn't let me post. I've finally managed to get it back to the old settings so you'll hear from me again this evening. Enjoy your Friday!!

Cam’s Lasagna Stack – Comfort with Limited Calories

Per Serving (Serves 12)

283 Cals 16 Carbs 8 Fat 22 Protein

Ingredients

Generic (Fresh) - Baby Pak Choi (Bok Choy), 60 g

Zucchini, includes skin, raw, 500 g

Gourmet Gardens - Italian Herbs, 1 1/2 tsp

Coles - Minced Garlic***, 10 g

Generic - Brown Onion - Medium, 2 whole

Mushrooms - Raw, 250 g

Tomatoes - Red, ripe, raw, year round average, 500 g

Somerfield - Tinned Chopped Tomatoes, 800 g

Coles - Baby Spinach, 85 g

Yellow Split Peas, Raw Weight, 100 g (raw weight)

La Nova - Cannellini Beans (Aust), 400 g

Pantalica - Smooth Light Ricotta Cheese, 500 g

Coon Light & Tasty Shredded - Cheese***, 200 g

Woolworths - Australian Beef Mince Heart Smart 500g, 410.0 g

Latina Fresh - Lasagna Sheets, 4 sheet

Method

Cook the mince, crushed tomatoes, garlic, herbs and split peas with some water till it’s all thick and mixed. Layer the chunky cut veggies and mince using the lasagne sheets sparingly (I had 2 containers and used 2 sheets per container). Dab Ricotta instead of béchamel throughout and sprinkle cheese on top. Pop into a moderate oven (180deg cel) for approx 30 mins or until well tanned on top. Freezes well and microwaves well too.

From the aching muscles of me

So here we are at WWWW again. So much has happened but I'll get the business stuff out of the way first.
I got on the scales this morning and I am very disappointed. My "loss" last week has been "found" - I weigh 112.2kg :(
I contribute this to having a very social Friday. A Mexican farewell lunch for two colleagues and then drinks and nibblies at a party Friday night. I did try to use my will power but I have a friend who makes UNBELIEVABLE home made dips and I couldn't resist. Good news is that my friends are on board and are aware that the real deal has now started and they're counting the weeks and calories with me. Thanks ladies - you know who you are :)
Thinking back, I also realise that my water has been a bit light over the last two days - time to refocus on the water consumption.
Now you're probably wondering what else I've been up to and how does that relate to the heading?
On Monday I went back to the gym for the first time since starting my second job. It's been 8 weeks. I wasn't really feeling up to it but I thought JFDI and so I got in the car and drove there. By the time I got there I'd given myself plenty of excuses to just to 10 mins on the treadmill, the bike and the cross traininer. As I walked up the flight of stairs I realised what I was doing. Creating excuses beyond belief. So very definite I scanned my swipe, put my bag in my locker and headed into the class room. I knew a class was starting in about 20 minutes. Yes, I could have been doing cardio in the meantime but I was worried that if I left the room I wouldn't return, so I stayed. Slowly the room filled up. I felt like a fig tree in amongst a forest of saplings but I refused to leave. I could feel myself going red from embarrassment as I stood there in my jelly moulds. Shortly thereafter the instructor entered. Too late to leave now. What the!? OMG!! I was about to endure my first class of Combat. I started off enthusiastic and after a while assumed we must be getting close to the hour as my clothes were saturated, I was out of breath and knackered - I looked at my watch - we were barely 5 mins in. I refused to give up, I stuck out the 60 minutes although I didn't jump as much as the others, I never stopped moving. At the end of the class I felt the need to apologise to the instructor for not participating all the time, so I did. He was very nice and said that he was impressed for my first Combat class and expected to see me again. Wham!! There's the boost of confidence I needed, so I agreed and said I'd be back to 'clutter up his class' on Friday. Well today is Wednesday and I'm still extremely sore. I've go Zumba tonight and I hope that I recuperate before Friday. I know I'll be sore for the first few weeks because it's new. I will hopefully also have my HRM by then as my phone app told me I'd burnt just under 1000 cals for the class - if that's accurate, good luck keeping me away!
I haven't been eating anything exciting so no recipes to share. I will be doing a cook up on Sunday though so if I create anything exciting I'll be sure to share! Till then my friends xo
PS I see I'm on 435 views - I never thought I'd crack 100, much less this many - it's very motivating to see!!

2012 Round 1: Preseason Task 1: Introducing me

You don't believe we're on the eve of destruction

Don't you understand what I'm tryin' to say
Can't you feel the fears I'm feelin' today?
If the button is pushed, there's no runnin' away

.....

So tonight is the eve of 12 WBT Preseason, the eve of destruction as tomorrow I will commence the destruction of bad habits, old beliefs to prepare the way for the new me.

I'm a little nervous and anxious but very excited. I'm not quite sure what to expect but this has been building for so long. I hope quietly that it's all I expect and more. I hope that I exceed my own personal expectations.

I've committed. I'm in. This is not something I'm doing half hearted. I've ironed my clothes and planned out my food for the week. I've scheduled in exercise and I know it needs to be done.

Tonight I say goodbye to the unhealthy lifestyles and I go to bed to rise in the morning with a clean slate.

This is up to me. Only I can change it. Till next I write, take care xo

Me at 123 Kilos

This is what I looked like when I first decided to lose weight about two years ago - I can't work out how to 'flip' the photo so it's the right way up, so don't get a sore neck tilting your head.

Low-Guilt Turkey Caesar Wraps (224 cals per serve)

Ingredients	Calories	Carbs	Fat	Protein
Vitastic Sorj Wraps Lite Rye - Wraps, 31 g	90	17	0	3
Lettuce - Cos or romaine, raw, 0.5 cup shredded	4	1	0	0
Woolworths Select - Salad Dressing Caesar, 20 ml	76	0	7	0
Turkey breast meat, 1 serving	34	1	1	6
Pure Shredded - Pecorino Romano Cheese Fresh Shredded, 1 TBSP	20	0	2	1

Place cos lettuce on wrap, drizzle dressing then shredded cheese and finally the chopped turkey breast. You don't even notice the bacon is missing and it tastes so yum!! You can even increase the veggie content by adding other salad items that you like. It's very filling, so be warned.

Nutrition (per serve):
224 Calories     19 Carbs    10 Fat    10 Protein

Extracting my face

What an exciting week this has been!

I had my very first 'professional' facial this week and it's definitely an experience to undertake. I had only heard and seen about facials in hopelessly romantic movies where they smear a mud like consistency on their face, two slices of cucumber over the eyes and soothing music. I honestly didn't think there was much more to it than that. I arrived promptly to my appointment and was asked to strip down my upper body and put on a 'towel robe' - like a big towelling skirt that's velcro fastened that rests just above your chest. I lie down on the comfy looking chair thinking I'm about to enter heaven. The lady who is doing my facial comes in and introduces herself after a brief chat about my skin care she starts the process. The cleanse is pleasant and I'm thinking 'this is blissful' to myself when she mentions 'extractions'. Extractions? I'm not going to a dentist! Extractions is the word used to 'unclog pores' which when described as simply as that sounds pretty painless, well it's not. I'm sure the process went well and it was just that I was not expecting this and I had not been forewarned but I thought I'd leave there with bruises. Once the extractions were finished they used what felt like a 'roller' to 'infuse' some vitamins into my skin and then 'painted' my face with what I thought was a heavy, cool, chocolate consistency mask. It was strangely calming, no claustrophobia kicking in. When finished she peels the mask off in one hit before applying some moisturiser and letting me escape. Did my skin look better? Yes it did and it felt fantastic. I guess what they say is true - no pain, no gain :)

I've decided that using the beautician as my reward will be satisfying. I need to build up some non-food rewards. Other non-food rewards are a visit to the hairdresser and also remedial massage.

Another point to mention is the challenge that I have posted on my relevant fb pages. It felt like every 12WBT person I was chatting to was doing a challenge where they'd post on fb and then run 1 km in honour of every person who 'liked' the post. As I always make sure my goals are SMART, I thought I better be time specific and gave myself a deadline at the end of January. So it appears that in less than 17 days I have now committed to completing more than 80km and the 'like' part doesn't close till tonight. Guess that will really kick start my fitness, speaking of which, I should be out jogging/running now. Speak to you all soon xo

December 2012

Some pics I found on my mobile. I will do another blog entry this evening. These will be similar to my pre pics that are yet to be taken

Breaking Down Excuses

Well what a difference fb can make. Prior to fb, having only released this blog on the 12 WBT forums, I had 60 page views. Today as I look at the page views, I’m sitting on 265! Traffic increase by 200 – half wish I was charging for traffic – I’d be making some nice moolah by now! Only kidding – this is, and always will be a free place to visit. Thanks to all of you who take the time to read my scrawlings.

Now I try to keep my posts generally pretty upbeat with a mix of humour, but sometimes there has to be troughs to balance out the peaks. Today is one of those days. Actually, rephrase: yesterday was one of those days.

Here in Central Qld we’re going through a heat wave at 36 degrees Celsius. As my home is fully insulated and was locked up all day, the temperatures inside were closer to 40 degrees. After trying to ‘air’ the heat out, I decided to crank my air cons (one reverse cycle and one portable).

Whilst the air cons were trying to do their job I thought I’d pop down to the post office to drop off my latest eBay sale and perhaps get some fruit and vege from Woollies. I now understand why you don’t go shopping on an empty stomach. All day I had been extremely conscious of what passed my lips and was well below my calorie levels. What’s that? Four pack of Mocha Drumsticks on special? Sure, it’s hot and when it’s hot you eat icecream! I’ll have a packet. Kenilworth Dairyblend Mousse? Why not, there’s dessert? I’m not ‘officially’ on the program yet. Within seconds I had built enough excuses to justify eating anything.

Within an hour of getting home I had ‘inhaled’ roughly 1300 calories – that’s my daily recommended intake in under an hour!! I say ‘inhaled’ because I don’t really recall tasting it, I barely recall consuming it. It just sort of happened. Getting the guilts immediately afterwards as well as a sore tummy, I thought I’d get online and vent. Guess what? I wasn’t the only one having an off day. It took someone else to pull me into line and tell me not to beat myself up over it before I started feeling a little better.

I am human. I make mistakes. The difference between me now and me last year is how I choose to handle my mistakes. I can sit and cry over what has already happened but I can’t change it. Thanks to those of you who snapped me out of ‘victim mentality’ where I blame everyone else and instead into ‘survivor mentality’ where I started working on what I need to do to avoid circumstances like this again. Yes I’ll make more mistakes, what I needed to ensure is that my mistakes are smaller.

First of all, I will buy treats one by one - at least for the time being. It might be pulling on the purse strings more but I’d rather that than hanging off my waist. Also, if I have a slip up, I’m not going to go into self destruct mode, instead I will work off the calories consumed (either that day or the very day after). So today I'm pumped. Food is back on plan. Working a four hour shift tonight, so I'll be on my feet walking, cleaning and replenishing stock - this will help counteract last night.

I am already admitting to all I eat on myfitnesspal (phone app and website) so it’s not like I’m hiding it (if you want to add me my username is Camilla12WBT), I’m ready to confront this. Tomorrow is the weekly weigh in. I’m a little nervous but I took a sneak peak this morning and I see a loss on the scales. I wonder how long it will take for last night’s misjudgement to count in my weight?

Racer Backs and Jelly Moulds

I’ve been a bit slack and haven’t been back here in a few days. Consistency will improve as I get my head around blogging. I thought of it as writing in a diary, then I stopped, I thought (yes it hurt!) and realised that it’s nothing like writing in a diary; this is here for the world to see. So many times I’ve heard that once you put something on the internet you can never be really sure where it ends up. My thoughts immediately flicker to the infamous undie shots below – oh dear, I could scar someone; I should have put a warning on each of them.

By now you’re reading this wondering where the link is between my heading and the topic. As a bigger girl, wanting to shed some kilos, it’s just about impossible to find something to wear whilst you’re sweating it out.

Running is one of my goals in 2012. I want to run a half marathon, but not just finish; I want to do it in a reasonable time as well. Ideally in less than 2 ½ hours. That’s a pretty big goal and it means that even starting now is a bit late. I’ve been walking regularly and I made one attempt at the c25k plan last year and it works.

Being all motivated about my new challenges and my new life I decided to start working out on Wednesday evening. I left work in a timely manner and was home with plenty of daylight. On face book I’d committed to jogging 10km that night – yes just like your eyes can be bigger than your stomach, my mouth can go further than my feet can.

As a plus sized woman, my thighs rub – it’s not pleasant, but it’s something I have to take into account when I work out. Running just in shorts doesn’t work without a mass of chaffing, so late last year I decided to try lycra ¾ running shorts – I call them my jelly moulds! They hug my thighs and prevent chaffing, but they’re also what’s holding my jelly belly under control and keeping me comfortable enough to keep moving. So finally, I had something to wear on the bottom half.

On top, I’d found plenty of nice singlets to work out in (I just can’t do sleeves) but most of them are racer backs. I didn’t think twice about this when I bought them, but I do now and forever will. The first time I decided to wear my new singlet I realised I’d need a bra that’s a crossover/racer back too (I’m not a fan of purposely visible bra lines – that’s just my opinion). If trying to find plus sized sports bra with support wasn’t hard enough (obviously only little people are supposed to exercise? You’d think it’d be the other way round and the bigger the size, the more options there were?!), try getting in to one. I tried putting it on the normal way, but my arms aren’t double jointed so I couldn’t reach the little hook in the back to hook the straps together after it’s on. Then I tried clipping the parts together first and sucking my stomach in (I know, it’s not for my stomach, but I wasn’t sure what else to do) and pulling it up over my stomach, I tried pulling it down over my head, still no success. At this point I looked at the clock – I’d wasted 45 mins trying to get into the gear to start running – I hadn’t left the house. In sheer frustration, I put my nice singlet top back in the wardrobe, grabbed an old daggy and off I went. I only pushed through for 5km, and it was more of a stumbling walk/shuffling jog to get to the end but I’m not giving up.

Tonight I head off again (nope, no pretty racer back top here – just jelly moulds and daggy singlet) and hopefully this time I’ll push the 5km mark back closer to 10km. I’ll post again tomorrow to let you know how I go. In the meantime if anyone has any tips on how to get racer back bra on and off, please comment, or if you’ve found a front fastening one, I would love to hear about it! Keep motivated, keep laughing and keep checking back in!

WWWW...

No, it's not the beginning of another URL, it's another acronym I've managed to pick up from the 12WBT team. It's to remind me on Wednesdays to Wake Up, Wee and Weigh!
This way I'm weighing myself consistently and at the same time of day for more accurate readings. So after not really being careful with my diet (I'm cleansing the pantry by eating all the bad stuff - yeah, yeah not the right way, I know) but I was amazed to still have a loss. Only 400g admittedly but a loss is a loss! Stoked so far and am going to start paying more attention to what goes beyond these lips.
I've also been making a conscious effort to move more. Incidental exercise at every opportunity and setting myself a target of 500cals to smash per day. I've also accepted another challenge to run/walk 2012 km in 2012. Looks scary to start with but I think fits all the SMARTs of goal setting so time to pound the pavement. First jog (more likely a deadly walk/pant/crawl that will scar me forever) this evening. Going back to the c25k program to get running again. Another goal for this year is to run a half marathon so I'm losing time and really need to kick it up a notch.

For those who saw my posts in the forum yesterday, I struggled with cravings. Good news is I didn't give in to them at work. In fact it got to about 9pm before I gave in and had 2 squares of white chocolate. Once I tasted it, I realised I no longer wanted it. Aarrghhh why does my body want to play these games? Well I'm not giving in today, not with that result!

Spaghetti Squash. Friend or foe?

A few months ago whilst idly exploring Google to find a way to "cheat" weight loss I stumbled across a page on spaghetti squash. It is a low/no carb alternative to pasta. Now I don't shy away from new things so I thought I'd look in to it and before you know it I had bought seeds. The packet stated the germination would occur in 14 days so imagine my surprise when they sprouted in three! Here is a pic of the seedlings at 8 days and I've just planted them out in a bigger pot. I haven't found any in the shops to see what the taste is like so I'm in eager anticipation. Stay posted for reviews when the fruit has grown and ripened. Once I have ripe fruit I will be more than happy to pass on some seeds. If anyone has tried it, please let me know what it's like.

New Year - New Resolution?

So 2012, you're here already? Time to up the ante and get this lard moving. I've now become completely addicted to the 12wbt forums and I think I'm posting there way more than I should. It's so easy though. When the support is there, nothing is unachievable or unattainable. I know this blog hasn't really been advertised yet, but it's pretty darn embarrassing having photos in your underwear for all to see. I'm still working up the guts, but it won't be long now. I'll start by sharing with certain people and then see how we go. The 12wbt team already have access to it via my profile even though it's not really been put out there.
Well I started yesterday with a bang setting myself an output goal of 500 cal and I managed to smash about 639 cal just by mowing for a few hours. Even with the sweat gushing off me, I felt happy and excited about taking the first step. Today I can tell it's been a while since I've exercised. The muscles are feeling used and abused. Still not giving up though. Need to smash another 500 cal today. Wish I had the confidence to go to the beach on my own. A slight tan and some beach jogging would be the go but I might leave this for when I have a buddy. I washed all my sexy lycra **sarcasm** this morning so it'll be a jog this afternoon. Starting the c25k again. Got to week 4 last time, this time I'm completing it. I will apologise in advance to anyone that might catch sight of the ball of jelly, covered in lycra that might be coming down your street. Till we speak again dear blog, it's over and out from this motivated chicky xo