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Friday, 31 May 2013

When Emotion Overflows

Every morning is a struggle. For some reason, my ‘get up and go’ has been MIA for the last few weeks. I didn’t think anyone had really noticed. Today I found out they had.

I know it’s my fault that I’ve been tardy. I realise that’s my problem. No, my work isn’t behind. Yes, I am still completing all my daily tasks.

So why is it so hard for me to be on time, when I was once a person who was never late?

Admittedly I’ve adjusted the alarms for my week away from Bootcamp. I’ve allowed myself to catch up on some sleep and to adjust to the new medication. That shouldn’t be making me late though. I’m definitely up early enough. Normally everything is pretty organised and ready to go. So what’s the trigger? What holds me back so much?


The thoughts running through my head pushing each other out of the way and fighting to be first in the line-up.  Everything flashes through my mind, everything relating to anything like weightloss, food, eating clean, families, friends – everything. It’s like a whirlwind of disjointed information. Sometimes I get lost in my thoughts for only a few minutes, sometimes it’s a lot longer and unfortunately it’s these moments that have their greatest bearings on my life.

I’ve contemplated taking time out till everything balances back out, but there’s no guaranteed time frame. I can’t sit at home and do nothing whilst time just ticks on by. So here I am, confessing to the world of online jibberish.

Sunday is my 10km fun run, so wish me well – I haven’t really trained so I’m not expecting too much. Last year my time was 1 hr 21 mins – I’d love to beat it but won’t hold my breath.

Have you been through something similar? Are you going through it right now? Any tips or advise would be graciously accepted!

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