Camilla's Journey Tracker

LilySlim Weight loss tickers

Sunday, 24 June 2012

Turning Blocks into Stones....Now

One of the secrets of life is to make stepping stones out of stumbling blocks.
— Jack Penn

Excuses? Excuses! Excuses.

If there was a degree you could earn for creating the best excuses, I would most certainly have earnt one. If there was a prize, I'd have won it.

Sometimes, life just bubbles along nicely, too nicely so you feel the need to upset it. Go against the grain for a bit. Just stir things up a little to see what happens. It's not always a conscious decision, but rather something that's deeply seeded in your subconscious or even in your past that's come back for a visit.

I've realised this round, even though I've had some massive wins, I've also had some massive set backs. It seems that you cannot have your cake and eat it to. Pardon the pun.

Just like every night you go to sleep, every day you will surely wake up (well to an extent - stay with me though - it's how I feel). As you wake up, you have a choice. Your day can either be good or bad. You make the choice. Get up with a smile and go about your day and you will find that the day is a lot more bearable than the alternative.

These last two to three weeks, I've let my priorities slide. I've put other's happiness before my own, other's goals before my own and because of this my goals are suffering. I need to learn that I need to put myself first to ensure that I'm functioning at 110% before I can even begin to help others reach their potential.

Now, no matter how many times someone tells you the above, until you're ready to listen, you won't hear the true message. I've had some very (very, very) persistent friends who have been at me to ensure that I keep on top of things.

I'm not used to friendship like that. I'm not used to anyone really giving a damn to that extent and all of a sudden I'm surrounded by it.

Throughout this time, my weight has fluctuated, but I've never strayed far. It's like self sabotage - I do a good job and I reward myself with food. To me it made sense. Then I was enlightened by a very good friend, and don't take this too personally, I didn't but she told me that we reward dogs and animals with food to make them do what we want them to. If I treat myself like a dog, how can I expect to live like a queen (slight exaggeration perhaps but you get the point)?

So with less than a fortnight to go till my holiday, I have decided to devote more time to me. Yep, if you didn't already think I was selfish - get a load of me now! Consistent gym work, get my house and yard all cleaned up before I go. The salad is already made in the fridge so I may as well eat it to reach my goals.

I'd been so fixated on being in my eighties for Hawaii that I nearly had a breakdown over it. The scales are only numbers. Someone pointed out to me that I'd lost 30kg so I'm 30kg lighter going over than I would have been 12 months ago. Until someone puts it into perspective it can be hard to see.

With a lump in my throat and a tear in my eye (must be hayfever!!) I will say goodnight for in my mission to be kind to myself I need to sort and organise my week and that starts now. No more procrastinating....

No comments:

Post a Comment