Breakdown anyone?

So my visit with my therapist shed some light on a very important topic on Friday. Breakdown.

As you’re all aware by now I’m pretty involved with everything in my life. I have two jobs, I go to the gym and to bootcamp, I am currently studying for a diploma as well as foundation exams and I’ve just applied for uni, I help out friends, I have a 2 acre mini property to care for and I have a relationship to nurture, oh and I review books for the local paper. To date I’ve always been a firm believer that I was in control. I could handle it. It was no problem.

Whenever someone asked me to do something, my immediate response was always ‘ofcourse I will’ – before the question had even registered in my head. Scary, hey?

Well Friday we discussed many things but one of them was fatigue and my newly found ability to want (need) to sleep at least ten hours a night. I don’t have time for ten hours a night just for sleep. What about my jobs, my studies etc.? When would they get the time they need?

Apparently my juggling act was a lot easier for my body to cope with in my twenties. Now that I’m ‘maturing’ my body doesn’t like to be pushed to the max so much.

So what do I need to do? I need to prioritise everything in my life and re-balance it. I have started this by reducing the hours I work in Job #2. I have delayed starting my official course at uni till next year and will be spreading the STEPs program over two terms. I will still focus on exercise but perhaps only 2 gym sessions on top of my bootcamp sessions. I am also going to stop setting my Saturday morning alarm to allow my body to sleep for as long as it needs.

I am going to be even more careful with my nutrition to ensure there are no deficiencies and so that my body can heal itself. Your body is a wonderful machine and with the right fuel it can do just about anything. I have faith that I will heal and that all it will take is time. I’m glad I’ve realised this now, instead of after the fact.

So without a bathtub to soak in, I need to go through and work out what relaxes me and how I can schedule that in. I’ve committed to spend more time reading and in my garden and I feel that’s going to have a huge impact.

I’ll keep you posted, but in the meantime, if you have any fantabulous suggestions, please comment and let me know – I’d love to hear how you relax and unwind.



Burning the Candle at Both Ends



Envisage your vision you visionary!

I was unwell Friday and spent the majority of the day in bed so I didn’t write a blog post. I didn’t think anyone would really want to read a blog that went something like” blech, ugh, uh tired, sleepy” and so forth, so I held off until today. I did buy myself a little 'get well' present:

It's the 'Live with No Excuses' sign

Saturday was my ‘Create a Kick Ass Vision Board’ with Connection Coaching session in Yeppon. After getting slightly lost, I found a room full of smiles and a lot of magazines and some white cardboard. This was the room to get the creative juices flowing. There was mood calming music, coffee and tea for everyone and most of all inspiration. I became so focussed on the task at hand that I barely noticed anything or anyone else for the entire session. I tried to keep to a board that would provide a vision of my short term (1-3 years) goals. With a table of Good Health and Women’s Fitness magazines it wasn’t hard to find the pictures and words I needed to motivate me. I have included pics of my vision board below:

  

My inspiration board

Sunday was pretty cruisey – just a standard Sunday at work. Good news is that my request to drop from 17 to 10 hours per week to commence post-Fiji has been approved! Yay! More “me time”!!

Oh and then to take away some of that “me time” I also found out today that I’ve been approved to participate in the CQU Steps program from workforce to uni. I can’t wait till I’m able to commence a ‘real’ course next year! Yay! So that’s me signing out!

PS I did have a breakthrough with my new therapist, but I’m not sure I’m ready to share that yet. When I am, this will be the first place I spill xx

The Excitement is Just Too Much!

Yesterday was an interesting day to say the least, I’m going to leave it in the past because that’s where it deserves to stay. I didn’t have a very positive frame of mind, and hence no blog post. Today will be different.

As I surf the forums on 12wbt I can feel something stirring inside, something I haven’t felt for a long time. Today is release day.

Huh? Release day?

For those of you who have never experienced 12wbt, release day is the day our menus and shopping lists are released. It signifies the beginning is near and excitement and anticipation for the round soars. I experienced these emotions in the first round, but not the subsequent rounds. This round is the first round since my initial round where I’ve got the butterflies in my tummy.

This time I know that the program works, there is no question. I know the menu plans are easily substituted as long as I stick to unprocessed meat and vege on the days where I simply cannot stomach what is on the menu.

The big difference this time round? Exercise! I am committing to completing my exercise every day it is scheduled, one way or another! This is on top of bootcamp!!

I have less than 9 week till Fiji. I weighed 100kg  the same time last year when I was in Hawaii and it made a huge difference! I’d really love to travel to Fiji at 95kg! That would be unreal!!

So here are some similarities between this round and first round 2012, and dissimilarities between this round and the other two rounds I completed last year:

I am excited and nervous

I am making a presence on the forums and getting the support I need

I have upped the ante on this blog and my posting

I am committing to eating the nutritional plan

I am committing to the exercise

I will complete the challenges set before me

I will set mini milestone challenges to complete

And the biggest one of all….. I will not give up!!

Already I’ve met some awesome people through the forums. I am already re-connecting with my real life friends.

Anyone who is negative, ie tells me I can’t or that it’s a waste of money can go to hell! I don’t need you in my life because you’re sucking out my energy whilst I try to quieten your whinging. I only need to be surrounded by those who support me and give a damn. I’ve spent far too long pleasing everyone else. I’m over it. I don’t care anymore. I’m an adult. Deal with it.

Yep, you heard me:

My first ever 12wbt Finale



I will wear these swimmers in Fiji



Me, this year.



I am successful



Nine letters - _a_p_n_ss

Happiness.

What is it?

What defines being happy?

Is it a place, is it a person?

Is it a combination?

What makes someone happy?

Happiness is on the agenda today after a conversation with a good friend of mine via email this morning. I was given some very spot on advice:

“You need to rediscover what really makes you happy, and then do it!! When you’re happy, the rest will start falling into place”

My initial response was: “What makes me happy? How do I figure that out?”

My friend advised it has to be pure happiness, not happiness that is dependent on others or on things I can’t control. Focus on what you can.

This set my mind off in a flurry. I’d had happy moments over the last few years, but could I honestly say that I knew how to make myself happy? How to find my true self’s happiness?

I had no idea where to start. You may as well have removed my mouth and then asked me to speak. I didn’t even know where to begin. Now, some seven or so hours later, I wasn’t much clearer. Have I focussed so much on other things that I don’t even know what makes me, me?

I love gardening. I believe gardening makes me happy but I seldom get a chance to play in the dirt. Between two jobs and fitting in exercise and everything else it just doesn’t get priority.

 

Reading. I can get lost in books for hours, days almost – I can’t remember the last book I read. Once again, I just don’t have the time.

I love to cook and to bake, and I rarely spend a lot of time on that either.

Have become so muddled up in my physical goals that I’m ignoring my soul and what makes me happy? I’m sure there must be other things that make me happy that I just haven’t considered.

I’ve been told many times that I have it easy. You have no kids nor husband, your life is easy and you must have so much time to do exactly what you want. Are you serious? Yes, I’m not married, I don’t have children, but that doesn’t automatically mean I’m given more time. I think I’ve mentioned recently that we all get the same amount of time, it’s how we manage it that makes a difference.

Before I step off the trodden track, let’s get back to happiness.

How do you fit your ‘happy activities’ that are just for you and make you who you are? How do you define these activities? Do you put them on the backburner and seldom get back to them? Are you able to list, right now, at least ten things that make you happy and at peace with yourself and that aren’t dependant on others? It’s not as easy as you think…